Craccum Queries

Happy Ahmed · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:19 pm

Greetings. As a representation of half of the literary genii responsible for Craccum Queries, a soon to be excellent and regular column in Craccum magazine perhaps you have heard of it, I encourage you here to submit questions for answerment within our most excellent column because myself and Mssr Boyle are too lazy to think of our own questions.

Questions which have already been asked which you ought not to also ask include:

Blind people seem to have all the fun nowadays; they even get given free dogs from the Government. How can I have fun like a blind man?

Which cricketer has the biggest cock?

Which Member of Parliament can sleep with the most hookers?

Is my handkerchief still culturally relevant?

What is wrong with people with red hair?

Please ask for answers to all of questions which you require answers for. Questions ought to be conducted in a clever or interesting manner for bestial answerment.

Spanking you kindly.

Misters Goodwin and Boyle (in absentia)

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Fez · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:32 pm

Why do condoms come in packets of twelve but women only in singles?

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Speaking of which, I live just down the road from "Shaw Street" which is badly mown, bumpy and wide

huge · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:35 pm

Since our beloved Shadows has had a facelift and is now considerably less shady, ('dank', if you will) should it not be renamed?

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insequential, a weblog.

"My head ain't filled with nothin' but Spacewolf and rockin' chairs..."(RA)

Archie McRiff · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:14 pm

Why does it hurt when I pee?

It seems that that's all I've got for now, Cass. But I bet if we got drunk, I could come up with some pearlers. I'll have a crack Friday or Saturday night.

Hotwax · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:30 pm

Why do my pants go all moist when I pee?

Local Hero · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:31 pm

What happened to that picture of that dude fucking that inflatable dolphin?

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The cat said nothing.

_ed_ · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:32 pm

Is the similarity between the words genii and genitals a coincidence?

Tony Montana · Joined: 20 Jan 2006 Posts: 1834 Location: Cosmo Canyon

Dr_Steve · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:08 pm

why does it hurt when I fuck your mum?

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Boozy Suzy · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:23 pm

Why do boys never come up with anything more funnier than "i fucked your mum" jokes?

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Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...this is fantastic. I'm in heaven."

Dr_Steve · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:34 pm

jokes?

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Happy Ahmed · Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:38 am

Ladies and Gentlemen please be keeping your questions of a clever and civil nature. We shall not be printing mindless smut within the pages of our esteemed column.

Be adequite.

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templar34 · Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:48 am

How come women have an excuse for being irritable and non-socialble for 3-5 days of every month, and guys don't?

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The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"...

...And I'll look down and whisper "No."

Noodle · Joined: 21 Feb 2006 Posts: 3053

Is that guy in Hotwax's avatar the dolphin fucker?

(That is not a Craccum query)

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_ed_ · Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 12:33 pm

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