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Craccum Queries
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Happy Ahmed
I came, I boned, I came, I left


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Joined: 06 Feb 2006
Posts: 2311
Location: Up your arse!

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:19 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Greetings. As a representation of half of the literary genii responsible for Craccum Queries, a soon to be excellent and regular column in Craccum magazine perhaps you have heard of it, I encourage you here to submit questions for answerment within our most excellent column because myself and Mssr Boyle are too lazy to think of our own questions.

Questions which have already been asked which you ought not to also ask include:

Blind people seem to have all the fun nowadays; they even get given free dogs from the Government. How can I have fun like a blind man?

Which cricketer has the biggest cock?

Which Member of Parliament can sleep with the most hookers?

Is my handkerchief still culturally relevant?

What is wrong with people with red hair?


Please ask for answers to all of questions which you require answers for. Questions ought to be conducted in a clever or interesting manner for bestial answerment.

Spanking you kindly.

Misters Goodwin and Boyle (in absentia)



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Fez
Buy one of my awesome beanies plz
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Joined: 28 Dec 2005
Posts: 5808

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:32 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Why do condoms come in packets of twelve but women only in singles?



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Speaking of which, I live just down the road from "Shaw Street" which is badly mown, bumpy and wide
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huge
Record players are for twats


huge's e-pen0r is 0
Joined: 28 Feb 2006
Posts: 4300
Location: Between a preposition and an apostrophe.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:35 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Since our beloved Shadows has had a facelift and is now considerably less shady, ('dank', if you will) should it not be renamed?



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insequential, a weblog.

"My head ain't filled with nothin' but Spacewolf and rockin' chairs..."(RA)
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Archie McRiff
Ask Me About My Girlfriend Sherry


Archie McRiff's e-pen0r is 0
Joined: 05 Feb 2006
Posts: 3561
Location: Rawkland

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:14 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Why does it hurt when I pee?

It seems that that's all I've got for now, Cass. But I bet if we got drunk, I could come up with some pearlers. I'll have a crack Friday or Saturday night.


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Hotwax
I Rape Things


Hotwax's e-pen0r is 0
Joined: 19 Feb 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Jacuzzi

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:30 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Why do my pants go all moist when I pee?


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Local Hero
Le Grille? What the hell is that?


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Joined: 16 Jan 2006
Posts: 4257
Location: 199B, Vandam St

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:31 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

What happened to that picture of that dude fucking that inflatable dolphin?



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The cat said nothing.
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_ed_


_ed_'s e-pen0r is 0
Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Posts: 2851
Location: The Mystery Machine

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:32 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Is the similarity between the words genii and genitals a coincidence?


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Tony Montana


Tony Montana's e-pen0r is 0
Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Posts: 1834
Location: Cosmo Canyon

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:14 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Local Hero wrote:
What happened to that picture of that dude fucking that inflatable dolphin?




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Dr_Steve
Alrighty then
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Dr_Steve's e-pen0r is 0
Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 6307
Location: behind you

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:08 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

why does it hurt when I fuck your mum?



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Boozy Suzy
I am Jack's smirking revenge.


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Joined: 07 Mar 2006
Posts: 2561
Location: close proximity to jug of beer

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:23 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Why do boys never come up with anything more funnier than "i fucked your mum" jokes?



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Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...this is fantastic. I'm in heaven."
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Dr_Steve
Alrighty then
Site Admin

Dr_Steve's e-pen0r is 0
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:34 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

jokes?



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Happy Ahmed
I came, I boned, I came, I left


Happy Ahmed's e-pen0r is 0
Joined: 06 Feb 2006
Posts: 2311
Location: Up your arse!

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:38 am   A link to this post Reply with quote

Ladies and Gentlemen please be keeping your questions of a clever and civil nature. We shall not be printing mindless smut within the pages of our esteemed column.

Be adequite.



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templar34
Boxer extraordinaire


templar34's e-pen0r is 0
Joined: 04 Feb 2006
Posts: 2817
Location: Bartender's Hell

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:48 am   A link to this post Reply with quote

How come women have an excuse for being irritable and non-socialble for 3-5 days of every month, and guys don't?



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The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"...

...And I'll look down and whisper "No."
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Noodle


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Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Posts: 3053

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 12:12 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Is that guy in Hotwax's avatar the dolphin fucker?

(That is not a Craccum query)



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Last edited by Noodle on Thu Mar 01, 2007 7:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
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_ed_


_ed_'s e-pen0r is 0
Joined: 21 Feb 2006
Posts: 2851
Location: The Mystery Machine

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 12:33 pm   A link to this post Reply with quote

Noodle wrote:
Is that guy in Hotwax's avatar the dolphin fucker?

I too was wondering this.


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