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| [Yaksha] At least I'll have my laptop with me at work ;) [Heri] WOOOHOOO! [Heri] No clitoris, though [Yaksha] Clitoris? [Heri] yeah you know... the little bump in the middle of the keyboard ;) [Heri] you kinda have to tickle it to make it work [Yaksha] lol [Yaksha] I think that'd look kind of weird at work ... [Yaksha] The computer starts beeping louder and faster ... [Heri] LMAO LMAO LMAO [Heri] then shoots a CDROM out of the drive [Yaksha] LOL [Yaksha] The monitor panel slowly falls into the closed position [Heri] LMAO! [Heri] then it smokes a ciggy? [Yaksha] Nahh, it formats a floppy |
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| <cevik> I've certainly met quite a few more violent christians ("lets go kill us some fags") than violent gays ("lets go break into someones house and decorate it!"). |
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| <daem0n_> i got new car radio the other day, its pretty cool. you shout soul and it plays soul, you shout rock and it plays rock. the other day some kids ran past my car and i yelled "FUCKING KIDS" and it played michael jackson. |
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| <<Excel>> Omg, I saw the funniest thing today. <<Excel>> There was a chalk outline on the floor, like those crime scenes where someone's been murdered. <<Excel>> And in the middle of it, someone had written 'PWNED!' |
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| <g-core> Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long 1, Michael J. Fox has a little one, Madonna doesn't have one and the Pope has one but doesn't use it. What is it. <pip> last name <pip> no wait <pip> penis |
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| <TXTerron> wanna know whats geeky? <Jennifer> hmm? <TXTerron> I'm driving down the road <Jennifer> I drove down the road today too... <Jennifer> Wait, You mean you're on irc in your truck? <TXTerron> yeah, using my wireless card <Jennifer> ^___^ <Jennifer> Jason, is that safe? <TXTerron> na, i just type with one hand while I'm driving and halfway watch the road, its cool, dont worry <Jennifer> You're good with typing with one hand? <TXTerron> shaddup :D <TXTerron> FUCK <TXTerron> i just rear ended a lady <TXTerron> brb :( |
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| <Stapler[BTEG]> When British police conducted a drug raid during a party at Keith Richards' Redlands estate in 1967, they found Mick Jagger eating a Mars bar out of Marianne Faithfull's vagina. <Stapler[BTEG]> FALSE <Fortyseven[BTEG]> Who hasn't done that? <Fortyseven[BTEG]> Oh. <Tristan> It was a snickers. <indigoflo> i heard thats how you catch genital hersheys |
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| -> *Sea* I'm making services talk and he's so stoned that he thinks he's imagining it :) <OperServ> WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, LIFESPIKE, YOU TERRORIST BASTARD <Lifespike> OPER, NO <Lifespike> dude IM INNOCENT I SWEAR <@LagServ> YOU'VE BEEN A BAD BOY <Lifespike> nooo <Lifespike> SOMEBODY CALL KEN <Lifespike> SOMEBODY HACKED HIS BOX <Lifespike> THE SERVICES ARE ATTAKING ME <LagServ> GREETINGS, JUSTIN! I AM YOUR GUARDIAN SPIRIT! <Lifespike> really? <LagServ> YES. I HAVE COME TO TELL YOU OF YOUR QUEST. <Lifespike> what do i have to do? <LagServ> You must travel into the wilderness, naked. You must stay there for 18 days. You must fuck every goat you encounter and carry around a bucket of green Jell-O. <Lifespike> holy shit, i never knew this was real <Lifespike> i'm gonna do that soon, i swear <OperServ> DIE! <MemoServ> DIE! <NickServ> DIE! <Lifespike> THEYRE TELLING ME TO DIE <Lifespike> FUCK THIS IM OUTTA HERE *** Quits: Lifespike <Ariakas> Wow. <Ariakas> I'd make a hell of a psychologist. |
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| * IllIIIllI (yujnfr at DELETETHISPARTPLEASE24.66.112.129) has joined #suicide <IllIIIllI> any slut attention whores here need a man to make themselves feel important let me know i can be that guy if you aren't ugly/fat * IllIIIllI (yujnfr at DELETETHISPARTPLEASE24.66.112.129) has left #suicide |
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| <Nelyx> DilleMMa: thomas edison went through 3000 experiments before he perfected the light bulb <DilleMMa> wow <DilleMMa> another geek prevails <Nelyx> show me someone successful who ISNT a geek <DilleMMa> britney spears? <DilleMMa> christina agerlia <DilleMMa> mandy moore <Nelyx> whore <> successful |
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| <@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * <@SJr> g g <@SJr> o / / o <@SJr> a| | | | a <@SJr> t| `. | | : t <@SJr> s` | | | | s <@SJr> e | / / \ --__ \ : e <@SJr> x / _--~~ ~--__| | x <@SJr> * _-~ ~-_ | * <@SJr> g _ _.--------.______| | g <@SJr> o ______// _ ___ _ (_(__> | o <@SJr> a . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a <@SJr> t / | C ____)/ (_____> |_/ t <@SJr> s / /| C_____) | (___> / s <@SJr> e | ( _C_____)______/ // _/ / e <@SJr> x | |__ \_________// (__/ | x <@SJr> * | ____) `---- --' | * <@SJr> g | _ ___ /_ _/ | g <@SJr> o | / | | | o <@SJr> a | | / | a <@SJr> t | / / | | |t <@SJr> s | / / __/___/ | |s <@SJr> e | / / | | | |e <@SJr> x | | | | | |x <@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x * |
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| <T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert <RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you? <T-Wolf> ya, why man? <RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson? <T-Wolf> you mother fucker |
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| <dr_cool> New Zealand is a shit hole full of sheep <marc> yeah, but they give better head than the kangaroos |
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| <iRalph> i'm not a pussy <iRalph> although... <iRalph> you are what you eat |
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| <+darthpony> geez dude <+darthpony> with my last gf <+darthpony> I made the most terrible fruedian slip <+darthpony> we were sitting at breakfast the one day, and I wanted to ask her "pass the sugar please" <+darthpony> instead I said "you're ruining my life, you fucking bitch" |
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| <evilada>: Best suicide plan ever <mcm310>: what is it? <evilada>: you go up to the top of a roof <evilada>: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level <evilada>: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched <evilada>: then you put super glue on your hands <evilada>: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head <evilada>: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows <evilada>: when the cord goes taut, youll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere. <evilada>: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE. <mcm310>: i dont think i can be your friend anymore |
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| <Minion> I BECAME A NUDIST SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO BROWSE THE INTERNET FOR UNDERAGE PORN! |
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| <herman> its easy as abxc |
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| <DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis |
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| <Nush> im not racist, i had black friends, but my dad sold them all |
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| (monkeh^): this girl from the us was emailing me saying her tummy hurts, out of curiosity i ask why its hurting (monkeh^): i got the reply today (monkeh^): and ill say this; she should have lied |
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| <g-core> Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long 1, Michael J. Fox has a little one, Madonna doesn't have one and the Pope has one but doesn't use it. What is it. <pip> last name <pip> no wait <pip> penis |
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| <DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk <DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first <DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out <DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh <DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning? <Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you? <DeadMansHand> holy fuck. <DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now <DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure <DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this <Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit. quit: (DeadMansHand) <Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day <Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts join: (PeteRepeat) (bob at DELETETHISPARTPLEASE3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP) <PeteRepeat> fucking ken <PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot <quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you. <PeteRepeat> oh fuck. <PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything. quit: (PeteRepeat) <Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach. <Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was |
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| <Nudger> The Internet is great, but the best thing it's ever done is when a bored schoolfriend of mine set the school's website's background to Goatse. * Antifreez sighs <Antifreez> So many memories attached to that song. <Nudger> It was so great when the IT teacher opened the page on a huge projection screen, and without looking at it, said "We, shall be attemping THIS, boys!" <Nudger> I swear, I was almost sick from laughing. |
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| <DarkNeo> Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval? <LongWongSilver> no <DarkNeo> He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steamroller. |
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| <Linforcer> heh, I just told m girfriend I like my women like I like I like my programming <MuStR> logical? <Linforcer> C++ <mkde> LOL <MuStR> rofl are you serious? |
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| <EnoC> sex should be like a honda slow obsene and loud enough for the neighbors to hear |
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| <Kitoshi> XD at the end of Ep 3, when they\'re showing Padme\'s funeral <Kitoshi> my friend Hampton said \"Look! Her stomach\'s big again! They must\'ve stuffed something back in there after the births!\" <Heath> xD <Kitoshi> and without a second thought, I respond \"Where do you think Yoda went into hiding?\" |
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| <megamobike> my mom taught me a very important lesson today <ccrookedrrain> no means no? <megamobike> gross |
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| <rom> if i was ever playing hide and go seek I would want Anne Frank on my team. |
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| <VanJeans> How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house? <VanJeans> Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time. |
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| SuperCoW : i once questioned a turtle about advanced trigonometry SuperCoW : but after a while i found out it was only a rock eightyapes : idiot SuperCoW : fuck u... it was all mossy n stuff so it looked like a turtle eightyapes : i dont think u get my point |
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| *jwzrd-* kicks Butters in the nuts *Butters* watches as jwzrd- breaks his foot on his morning wood |
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| 3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school? 3:GHB> Today is Saturday 3:pixelsoft> It's Friday GHB left arena |
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| <deloused> haha i love when people start telling you stuff like you care when you actually don't and you don't pay attention, and then when they finish they ask for your opinion/advice and you just say "oh yea i totally agree" <XA> oh yeah, i totally agree |
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| <RustySpoon> Hahaha... I just came back from Phlanges girlfriend. <Phloam> Wtf were you doing there? ffs man have some respect <RustySpoon> Let\'s just say she was glad to see me * Phlange is now afk <RustySpoon> fuck when did he log on? |
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| <ChunkyQ> The man's a whore. His balls have seen more chins than a Chinese FedEx employee. |
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| <yoozer> the speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING" |
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| <YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH <YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER. * YuFFie (~mirc:_USE_THE_AT_EMOTICON_:3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.) * YuFFie (~mirc:_USE_THE_AT_EMOTICON_:3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined # <YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF |
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| [guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ |
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| <asmcoded> anal sex is like hacking <asmcoded> you go in through the backdoor and hope you dont meet a log |
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| <Buddy`leftBehind`Lee> My wife demanded I take her out some place expensive <Buddy`leftBehind`Lee> I took her to a gas station |
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| <snow> hurricanes are like women <snow> when they come, they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car. |
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| <narg> So my sister is about to enter college, and she was telling everyone her room number - 404. <narg> Then one day, she was looking at a college letter with my parents, and she's like crap, my room number is 414! <narg> Reflexivly, I said if people went there, they would be like 404: Julie not found. <narg> No one even looked my way ;( |
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| Gimpy: lifes a bitch and im her pimp HjMC: Fuck life! Gimpy: that'll be 50 dollars |
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| <Raidonkid> My sister is fucking slow. She came home last night complaining about how her boyfriend lied to her and got her pregnant. He told her he was circumcized twice and she thought it meant he was sterile. |