Highlights From Craccumchat (Craccum)

Title: Highlights From Craccumchat
Description: Since we're all such cunning linguists..

templar34 - May 2, 2005 08:59 AM (GMT)

Just thought we should share our brilliance.

QUOTE

<templar34>: sorry, i forget how old you are, popa
<happyahmed>: twenty four
<happyahmed>: that's not that old
<templar34> OMG that's so old!
<templar34> that's like a third older than me
<happyahmed> i hate you
<happyahmed> it would be if you were 16
<happyahmed> oh wait
<happyahmed> gay

I know, not the best, but should hopefully be a kickstart.

Toby Turner - May 2, 2005 09:07 AM (GMT)

whats really scary is this was actually ahmed trying to score a date, and templar explaining he was barely legal, much to ahmed's sexual annoyance. i know of this girl who will do ANYTHING for $400, ahmed. too bad you're a sausage sizzler...

templar34 - May 2, 2005 09:09 AM (GMT)

Double cheese too.

Toby Turner - May 2, 2005 09:11 AM (GMT)

*wrenches*

Toby Turner - May 2, 2005 09:12 AM (GMT)

will ahmed now procede to make defamatory remarks about me in craccum in response to his awful, evil flame?

whats ahmeds real name??

Happy Ahmed - May 2, 2005 06:43 PM (GMT)

I love the cock.

Come up to craccum sometime for some sodomy.

Fez - May 5, 2005 10:30 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<sloanie> 02anyone know how to lose about 5 kgs in 28 hours?
<Dr_Steve> yes
<Dr_Steve> liposuction
<PoomPoom> your arm off
<templar34> 05amputation
<sloanie> 02lol
<sloanie> 02true
<JediMastaFez> have lots and lots of sex

templar34 - May 5, 2005 11:08 PM (GMT)

OK, situation is that there's Synopsis, myself, and two chat AI in the chatroom, Iliyana and JohnTitor...

<Synopsis> !8ball, dammit say something belligerent
<Illiyana> Synopsis, the wise eightball says 'Sometimes'
<Synopsis> !8Ball, to hell with you.
<Iliyana> Synopsis, the wise eightball says sometimes.
<templar34> !8Ball, does your eightball function suck more than me?
<JohnTitor> <<templar34>>: Yes!
...
<templar34> ?
<JohnTitor> <<templar34>>: Definitely, templar34...
...
<templar34> will I get some tail tonight?
<JohnTitor> <<templar34>>: No way, templar34!

Fez - May 5, 2005 11:14 PM (GMT)

Lol! Awesome a John Titor bot! Get him to tell us stuff about what its like in the future! :D

templar34 - May 7, 2005 08:10 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<dr_steve>!sodomise happyahmed
<John_Titor> dr_steve drags happyahmed into a dark corner and proceeds to rip forth with all the fury of the gods themselves.
<dr_steve> dammit

Dr_Steve - May 7, 2005 10:30 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

John_Titor: [Question: 3] What is Pogonophobia the fear of?
dr_steve: pogo sticks
etc: pogo sticks
JediMastaFez: Pogo Sticks
templar34: Pgog Sticks
JediMastaFez: lol
Synopsis: pogo sticks
dr_steve: LMAO
templar34: Pogo Sticks

Fez - May 7, 2005 12:15 PM (GMT)

QUOTE

<John-tamahere> John, If i eat rhubarb will this help my cock get hard?
<John_Titor> 12<<4John-tamahere12>> : You're gonna have a long wait for that
<JediMastaFez> ROFL

the oob - May 8, 2005 04:53 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

[16:49] the_oob: If you ever want to see an exceedingly dodgy movie, watch 'Caligula'
[16:49] Dr_steve: I did see it
[16:49] the_oob: It has more porn than a porn movie
[16:49] Dr_steve: didn't realise that it was made by Penthouse til after :(
[16:49] the_oob: ah really?
[16:49] sloanie: lol
[16:49] the_oob: So it was a porn movie
[16:49] the_oob: lol
[16:49] the_oob: Well I'll be
[16:50] Dr_steve: don't know what the hell Peter O'Toole was thinking being in that movie
[16:50] *** Steveo has signed off IRC (Client Disconnected).
[16:50] the_oob: I just thought Caligula was a huge perv

Steveo - May 8, 2005 07:17 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<happyahmed> I just found the perfect fucking computer desk
<Zoot> The prefect was... Oh. Perfect.
[Steveo] does it have sodomy brackets?
<happyahmed> i have been trying to find one for so long
<happyahmed> I HAVE MORE DIMENSIONS THAN SIMPLE SODOMY
<Zoot> I don't know what sodomy brackets are.
[Steveo] neither do i
<happyahmed> I also like autofellatio and I think felching is funny
[Steveo] oh sorry ahmed
[Steveo] how could i have been so blind
<happyahmed> not to mention frottage

Dr_Steve - May 8, 2005 12:12 PM (GMT)

QUOTE

templar34: templar34 > Dr_steve*
Dr_steve: careful...
*** John_Titor has changed the topic on channel #craccumchat to Craccum Chat: <templar34> haven't been laid in 802 days.

Fez - May 9, 2005 04:41 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<JediMastaFez> lol scared that I wanted to buy it and get off on Liz?
<happyahmed> 12I AM GOING TO WANK ON HER FACE

templar34 - May 10, 2005 03:48 AM (GMT)

QUOTE (Main Page)

Our members have made a total of 8,721 posts
We have 107 registered members
The newest member is huge

Dr_Steve - May 10, 2005 05:04 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<templar34> remember Steveo, the manwhore is not in it for himself, he's providing the ladies with a service
<templar34> the service, is his hot self
<templar34> write that down

Steveo - May 10, 2005 05:12 AM (GMT)

sigh, such good quality advice too

kiwi_hockey_guy - May 10, 2005 05:28 AM (GMT)

ohhh fuck, thats one for my memoirs

quixote - May 10, 2005 05:33 AM (GMT)

go to http://pabstlovers.org/~jonese/name.php for a new name everyone

Steveo - May 11, 2005 05:53 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<the_oob> He can't get sued any more than the inventor of the VCR can get sued when people use it to copy tapes
<the_oob> Or the inventor of the pen can get sued when people copy books
<the_oob> etc.
<JediMastaFez> yeah, dudes a genius
<the_oob> I think he has Asbergers Syndrome or some shit... you know one of those 'genius disorders'
<JediMastaFez> I had that once

templar34 - May 11, 2005 09:16 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<templar34> work is a valid reason, calculus lectures are not
<yeliah> honey, calculus IS work
<yeliah> ...
<yeliah> fuck
<yeliah> I just said honey didn't I?

Fez - May 12, 2005 11:49 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<John_Titor> [Question: 2]A horse named Nita beat the first locomotive ever built in America in a famous race in 1830, what was the name of the train?
<sloanie> The Pony Express
<JediMastaFez> Thomas
<sloanie> Gordon
<John_Titor> [AUTO HINT]T** T****
<sloanie> Fez
<templar34> YEAH go the recognition of a good name
<JediMastaFez> The Train
<sloanie> The train
<etc> The Train

the oob - May 14, 2005 11:16 AM (GMT)

This isn't actually from the craccum forum but I think I'm hilarious so I'm posting it anyway.

KGX: One of those few lesbian movies thats more about love than sex
the oob: What's the point of lesbians if they're not having sex? That's like having a bull and not letting it loose in large crowds. Or having a license to practice medicine and not selling morphine to addicts. Or having a can of gasoline and not burning down an ophanage. Or having huge speakers in your car and not waking up quiet neighbourhoods. Or having a huge wingwong and not wearing tight pants. Or having access to the internet and not posting smarmy comments in forums.

Synopsis - May 14, 2005 11:54 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

[Synopsis] ahah! I knew it!
<the_oob> ?
[Synopsis] they guy who plays Tom Zarik in the new BSG played Apollo in the old
<the_oob> You're a champion Matt
[Synopsis] I have the geek power

Steveo - May 15, 2005 09:45 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

[Steveo] ok oob
<templar34> nex ttopic
<the_oob> Venerate the immortal oob
[Steveo] we need to take u out in the holidays
[Steveo] like me, you, Synopsis and tempy
[Steveo] or maybe not tempy
[Steveo] he might cramp our style

templar34 - May 15, 2005 10:09 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<the_oob> Looks like the Death Star eh?
<templar34> looks like a moon with a big fucking crater

Fez - May 18, 2005 11:00 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<Dr_steve> lol
<Dr_steve> awww EML is off air
<Dr_steve> http://tvnz.co.nz/view/tv2_story_skin/433420%3fformat=html
<Dr_steve> Jeanette Fitzsimons makes #7 !!
<JediMastaFez> 8. James K Baxter
<JediMastaFez> Id do him for a $
<JediMastaFez> .50c now that hes dead

the oob - May 19, 2005 05:14 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

[17:08] dr_steve_at_uni: i love the cock
[17:08] dr_steve_at_uni: in my ass
[17:09] dr_steve_at_uni: its so hard
[17:09] dr_steve_at_uni: ...
[17:09] dr_steve_at_uni: in and out it goes
[17:09] dr_steve_at_uni: faster and faster
[17:09] dr_steve_at_uni: the friction begins to burn my anus
[17:10] dr_steve_at_uni: i wish he'd used more lube
[17:10] dr_steve_at_uni: finally his warm cum soothes my ring of fire
[17:10] * dr_steve_at_uni smokes a cigarette
[17:10] *** dr_steve_at_uni has left #craccumchat.
[17:13] the_oob: That's going to be quoted methinks

Dr_Steve - May 19, 2005 01:36 PM (GMT)

dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!

Fez - May 19, 2005 10:29 PM (GMT)

QUOTE (Dr_Steve @ May 20 2005, 01:36 AM)

It was Simon wasnt it?

Dr_Steve - May 19, 2005 11:09 PM (GMT)

yup. My only solace is that he can't see this forum

Fez - May 22, 2005 06:38 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<Zoot> And Sean went out and spent $500 on houseware today.
<Happyahmed> 12shit
<Happyahmed> 12like what?
<JediMastaFez> Thor
<Happyahmed> 12rad
<Zoot> Like knives and pots and pans and stuff.
<Zoot> No Thor! THOR BRING PAIN.
<Happyahmed> 12i want thor as a coatstand
<Zoot> Or, um, so I've heard.
<JediMastaFez> ROFL

huge - May 25, 2005 07:49 PM (GMT)

QUOTE (templar34 @ May 10 2005, 03:48 PM)

QUOTE (Main Page)

Our forum goons have made a total of 8,721 posts
We have 107 registered forum goons
The newest member is huge

Haha. :lol:

Fez - May 26, 2005 11:52 AM (GMT)

QUOTE

<JediMastaFez> I heard some guy saying they should have gotten rid of Raphael the other day
<templar34> cocksuckers!
<JediMastaFez> and I was like teh noes! Raphael was the coolest!
<templar34> damned straight
<trix> why would they want to get rid of him?
* AC has quit IRC (Client Disconnected)
<JediMastaFez> according to their logic
<JediMastaFez> Donatello was good with machines
<JediMastaFez> Leonardo was the leader
<JediMastaFez> and Michelangelo was the party guy
<JediMastaFez> Raphael did nothing
<JediMastaFez> but I was like wahtever!
<templar34> he was the pin-up
<JediMastaFez> Raphael always first into a fight
<JediMastaFez> the rest were all pussies
<Synopsis> Raphael held the group together
<Synopsis> and stopped them disintergrating into a life of drugs and crime
<templar34> and bestiality
<Synopsis> well, they are mutants
<JediMastaFez> lol

Dr_Steve - May 26, 2005 12:40 PM (GMT)

:hilarious: I thought you were talking about art for the first six lines

the oob - May 26, 2005 08:05 PM (GMT)

Raphael was there to activate unreachable buttons by throwing one of his sais at it.

Dr_Steve - May 30, 2005 12:54 PM (GMT)

QUOTE

Dr_steve: so did it hail at your place today?
templar34: nope, i live on 6th floor in CBD
Dr_steve: but did it hail on the window?
templar34: nope
Dr_steve: hmm funny
Dr_steve: my mighty stage III physics education tells me thet you're more likely to find hail if you go up higher...
templar34: not in CBD
Dr_steve: ;-)
templar34: not with guys this hot in a flat
Dr_steve: lol sure
Dr_steve: why don't you and the hail go get a motel room?
templar34: cos it can't stay hard
Dr_steve: so you like it hard then?
Dr_steve: whats wrong with wet?
templar34: both are best, together, but that won't work with hail
Dr_steve: well if its partially melted...

Dr_Steve - May 31, 2005 02:40 PM (GMT)

QUOTE

blonde_rain: i love exercising discipline
Dr_steve: you're in a minority then :)
blonde_rain: ;)
templar34: i love it when my g/f exercises discipline
blonde_rain: ;)
blonde_rain: of course, of course but didn't we already know that?
blonde_rain: my comment was to steve
templar34: thank god

QUOTE

Dr_steve: !quiz 5
templar34: noes!
*** templar34 has signed off IRC (Client Disconnected).
Dr_steve: lol
Dr_steve: and the quiz wasn't even turned on

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