Title: Messed Up News Thread
Description: Post all messed up news stories here
Description: Post all messed up news stories here
Fez - April 9, 2005 10:15 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - A woman has been arrested after she rammed a car into her neighbor's apartment in an apparent fight over a loud television, Canadian police said on Thursday. The Penticton, British Columbia, woman got into her 1985 BMW after becoming upset with her neighbor and drove the car across the lawn and through some patio furniture before the vehicle hit the side of the building, police said. |
Been to Penticton, nice place, would never have suspected angry car rammers to be lurking amongst its population.
Fez - April 9, 2005 10:15 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| TIRANA (Reuters) - Albania's most wanted man fought off special police and eluded capture for years only to blow himself up while fishing with dynamite, police and newspapers say. |
Fez - April 13, 2005 11:19 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Tenn. Police Charge Man Living in Closet With Murder of Homeowner, His Lover's Husband NASHVILLE, Tenn. Apr 12, 2005 — A man was beaten to death after catching his wife's lover living in a closet in their home, police said Tuesday. Rafael DeJesus Rocha-Perez, 35, was charged with homicide in the slaying of 44-year-old Jeffrey A. Freeman over the weekend. |
yams - April 13, 2005 11:31 AM (GMT)
Thank God for Fucked up New!!! I havent gotten any since hypocrite.com closed down.
Nice one fez
Nice one fez
Dr_Steve - April 13, 2005 11:45 AM (GMT)
ROFL I love that bit at the end about how they were co-owners of a company that does background checks on tennants.
Dr_Steve - April 13, 2005 11:47 AM (GMT)
ok, what's wierd about this one is more that Helen Clark made it into CNN than anything else: http://edition.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/...e.ap/index.html
Fez - April 13, 2005 11:54 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Students are camping out in cardboard boxes to attract attention to Omaha's homeless. The 30 students associated with Pi Kappa Alpha are asking for canned food as part of the Just Can It campaign. |
Sounds like something Alec would do, oh no wait he already did.
smiley - April 13, 2005 11:57 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| A cigarette smoked in the dying seconds before New Zealand smokefree laws came into effect last year is set to fetch more than NZ$7,500 (£2,863) in an Internet auction. |
http://xtramsn.co.nz/entertainment/0,,12254-4284968,00.html
That is pretty insane, why would you want it? It is just a cigarette butt and there is nothing special about them, regardless of when they were smoked.
_Ed_ - April 13, 2005 12:49 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Police arrested a North Liberty man Sunday after he allegedly chased and threatened his neighbors with a sword while nude. Curtis Donald Rarick, 44, of 245 S. Front St., was charged with assault while displaying a dangerous weapon, an aggravated misdemeanor punishable by up to two years in prison and a $5,000 fine upon conviction. According to police: Officers were called to a residence on Front Street for reports of an altercation. The victims told police Rarick was in his front yard naked and became upset when they told him to put some clothes on. Rarick then went inside his residence, retrieved a sword with a 2-foot 6-inch blade and chased and threatened his neighbors on their property. Rarick posted $2,000 bail and was released from Johnson County Jail Monday, court records show. Rarick’s home phone number is unlisted and court records did not indicate if Rarick has yet retained a lawyer. |
Fez - April 23, 2005 02:05 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Officer Craig Clancy strolled to the appropriate facility and was lowering his trousers when his pistol fell from his waistband. When Clancy fumbled for the falling firearm, it went off, twice. |
Fez - April 23, 2005 02:07 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| TORONTO - A 16-year-old from Toronto is facing child pornography charges after nude photos of his former girlfriend were posted on a website. |
Fez - April 26, 2005 04:28 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women Thursday, October 2, 2003 Posted: 9:19 AM EDT (1319 GMT) (AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found. Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two. |
Happy Ahmed - April 26, 2005 04:34 AM (GMT)
I'm going to volunteer to help with research at that university.
yams - April 26, 2005 05:37 AM (GMT)
Some parts of that fellatio story sounds a bit fake...
| QUOTE |
| Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances." |
:blink: :blink: :blink:
Fez - April 26, 2005 05:58 AM (GMT)
shh!
yams - April 26, 2005 08:05 AM (GMT)
who in their right mind would talk about their sex life like that?
Fez - April 29, 2005 10:33 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| OSLO, Norway (Reuters) -- A Norwegian court has sentenced a woman to nine months in jail for raping a man, the first such conviction in the Scandinavian country that prides itself for its egalitarianism. The 31-year-old man fell asleep on a sofa at a party in January last year and told the court in the western city of Bergen he woke to find the 23-year-old woman was having oral sex with him. |
Steveo - April 29, 2005 10:37 AM (GMT)
WTF, why would a man complain about taht.....
the oob - April 29, 2005 11:03 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Steveo @ Apr 29 2005, 10:37 PM) |
| WTF, why would a man complain about taht..... |
$$$. So not only did he get his pole waxed, he got paid for the priviledge. Kudos to you Norwegian guy, kudos.
Fez - May 5, 2005 11:30 PM (GMT)
Fez - May 14, 2005 02:46 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Bjerregaard made arrangements for his students to be a part of a dissection of a dog that was still alive. The dog was still alive, but the teacher said it was sedated before the dissection began. With the students watching, the sedated dog's digestive system was removed. "It just makes me sick and I don't think this should go on anywhere and nobody's learning from it," student Sierra Sears said. |
Fez - May 24, 2005 01:01 PM (GMT)
Fez - May 25, 2005 06:42 AM (GMT)
Synopsis - May 25, 2005 06:57 AM (GMT)
What. The. Fuck?
WordLife - May 25, 2005 07:56 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| A team of doctors at a local hospital reattached his penis. "We will have to wait and watch to see if he will be sexually normal again," said A.K. Singh, who performed the surgery. |
the oob - May 25, 2005 08:20 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Fez @ May 25 2005, 06:42 PM) |
| Thems crazy christians are at it again. http://www.ooze.com/toolofsatan/ |
That's parody right? Tell me that's parody. I don't even know anymore!
Fez - May 25, 2005 09:58 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (the oob @ May 25 2005, 08:20 PM) | ||
That's parody right? Tell me that's parody. I don't even know anymore! |
exactly, people are so crazy religious these days that I wouldnt put it past a few conservative christians Ive known
Fez - May 26, 2005 02:31 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Two Star Wars fans are in a critical condition in hospital after apparently trying to make light sabres by filling fluorescent light tubes with petrol. A man, aged 20, and a girl of 17 are believed to have been filming a mock duel when they poured fuel into two glass tubes and lit it. The pair were rushed to hospital after one of the devices exploded in woodland at Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire. |
Noobs, dont they know you can just use sticks and rotoscope it?!
Synopsis - May 26, 2005 10:07 AM (GMT)
Silly fools, you don't make lightsabers out of glass and petrol, you use matter-permeable force fields and highpowered lasers like everyone else does.
WordLife - May 27, 2005 09:00 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| The initiative came from the prostitutes’ union, who proposed the discount measure as a way of helping the long-term jobless out of their depression. |
Fez - June 2, 2005 11:02 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| SAN FRANCISCO: San Francisco's Center for Sex and Culture played host on Saturday to the city's annual "Masturbate-a-thon", an event its organizers said could draw up to 120 people from across the United States aiming to have a good time with themselves. |
Sounds like a Fappin good time
Fez - June 3, 2005 12:54 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| The explosion occurred July 13, 2004, at Parrish Shaft in Blacksville. Jenkins is a North West Fuels Development methane power plant operator. He entered a portable toilet, sat down and tried to light a cigarette. When he struck the lighter, the toilet exploded. |
Fez - June 6, 2005 10:00 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| LINDENWOLD, N.J. - Police made a surprising discovery when they busted the alleged madam of a prostitution ring called "August Playmates": The woman running the show was an 80-year-old grandmother. |
Fez - June 7, 2005 10:28 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| Student charged with assault and indecent exposure A 14-year-old Culpeper Middle School student has been charged with assault and battery and indecent exposure after a student complained that he fondled himself during class and rubbed something on her face afterward. The incident allegedly occurred on June 2 while the teacher was showing a movie, according to Culpeper Sheriff's Sgt. Vern Fox. Three girl students later complained to school authorities that the boy had grabbed their hands and tried to force them to touch his genitals during the act, Fox said. School deputy Jesse McClannahan interviewed the three girls, and one said the boy had "wiped a white, wet substance across her face," Fox said. Fox said the boy told McClannahan that he had touched his pants and then touched the girl's face, but was unsure whether anything was on his hand. He denied any contact with the other two students, Fox added. Juvenile petitions have been filed in the case, Fox said. |
templar34 - June 9, 2005 10:49 PM (GMT)
the oob - June 10, 2005 07:37 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (templar34 @ Jun 10 2005, 10:49 AM) |
| Good job, boys in blue. Seriously, WTF?!?!?! Man with Bloody Chainsaw let into US |
He'll fit right in.
templar34 - June 15, 2005 04:29 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| A 67-year-old great-grandmother from Halifax who left school in Grade 8 says it feels good to finally receive her high school diploma. |
Steveo - June 20, 2005 10:29 PM (GMT)
the oob - June 23, 2005 10:30 AM (GMT)
73 year old badass:
NAIROBI (Reuters) - A 73-year-old Kenyan grandfather reached into the mouth of an attacking leopard and tore out its tongue to kill it, authorities said Wednesday.
Peasant farmer Daniel M'Mburugu was tending to his potato and bean crops in a rural area near Mount Kenya when the leopard charged out of the long grass and leapt on him.
M'Mburugu had a machete in one hand but dropped that to thrust his fist down the leopard's mouth. He gradually managed to pull out the animal's tongue, leaving it in its death-throes.
"It let out a blood-curdling snarl that made the birds stop chirping," he told the daily Standard newspaper of how the leopard came at him and knocked him over.
The leopard sank its teeth into the farmer's wrist and mauled him with its claws. "A voice, which must have come from God, whispered to me to drop the panga (machete) and thrust my hand in its wide open mouth. I obeyed," M'Mburugu said.
As the leopard was dying, a neighbor heard the screams and arrived to finish it off with a machete.
M'Mburugu was toasted as a hero in his village Kihato after the incident earlier this month. He was also given free hospital treatment by astonished local authorities.
"This guy is very lucky to be alive," Kenya Wildlife Service official Connie Maina told Reuters, confirming details of the incident.
NAIROBI (Reuters) - A 73-year-old Kenyan grandfather reached into the mouth of an attacking leopard and tore out its tongue to kill it, authorities said Wednesday.
Peasant farmer Daniel M'Mburugu was tending to his potato and bean crops in a rural area near Mount Kenya when the leopard charged out of the long grass and leapt on him.
M'Mburugu had a machete in one hand but dropped that to thrust his fist down the leopard's mouth. He gradually managed to pull out the animal's tongue, leaving it in its death-throes.
"It let out a blood-curdling snarl that made the birds stop chirping," he told the daily Standard newspaper of how the leopard came at him and knocked him over.
The leopard sank its teeth into the farmer's wrist and mauled him with its claws. "A voice, which must have come from God, whispered to me to drop the panga (machete) and thrust my hand in its wide open mouth. I obeyed," M'Mburugu said.
As the leopard was dying, a neighbor heard the screams and arrived to finish it off with a machete.
M'Mburugu was toasted as a hero in his village Kihato after the incident earlier this month. He was also given free hospital treatment by astonished local authorities.
"This guy is very lucky to be alive," Kenya Wildlife Service official Connie Maina told Reuters, confirming details of the incident.
Fez - August 6, 2005 03:28 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE |
| GIRL SEES LOVER'S SUICIDE A man filmed himself jumping to his death on his mobile video phone and beamed the live images to his horrified girlfriend, an inquest heard. Lee Morgan, 20, jumped from the Humber Bridge after a New Year's Eve row with Sherrie Smith. The couple had got engaged on Christmas Day. Hull coroner Geoffrey Saul was told Mr Morgan had called his fiancee after leaving the party from the landmark bridge. She said: "I could see the lights. It went black and the phone cut out." The inquest heard a bridge worker saw Mr Morgan jump while holding his phone. His body was not found until February 9. Miss Smith told the hearing her fiancee was not drunk but had been in a "strange mood" at the party and was "looking for an argument over the silliest of things", according to a report in the Daily Mirror. She told him to calm down and phone in the morning but he called an hour later from the bridge. The hearing heard Mr Morgan - who has just landed a new job - had threatened to jump from the bridge following the sudden death of his dad in 1997 but was stopped by his mother. A verdict of suicide was recorded. |