but *she who will not be named* said masturbation is fine..... and i think it would be better doing it to a womens day as apposed to rugby league weekly........

do you not aggree?


unless its a spread of those cheerleaders.....

:dance:

:dance: :dance:

I love you man!!!! *your humour that is* not interested in sodomy!

Doesn't matter if you're interested in sodomy or not, the question is whether you enjoy it. Facts of life, kiddo.

Craccum this year is pretty dry though. I loved Colin's year , it was intellectual yet stupid all at the same time and Happy had some classics then too.

Happy, why don't you write one about yourself. Making sure you belittle yourself as much as possible. It'll guarantee some positive feedback fo' sure. Unless you've already done that. :)

Writing purely about myself is a little self indulgent even for me.


The one out on Monday is fucking awesome. I don't know how much more time i'll have for writing this semester though. I think I have one more piece in me.

Haven't checked Craccum in a while. People trying too hard.

I'm on fucking fire.

In my professional opinion this is the best year of Craccum I have been a part of.

Oh is it now? i'll be sure to check it out more often then. :)

To add to my old man reputation this is my 4th year of reading craccum. Spydirs letter in the week before was so true, the craccum boxes in the quad have never been emptied so fast (that ive seen while at uni) and it sounds like its only going to get better (with all the potential controversy surrounding the up coming issues)

In order of how fast the craccum boxes have been emptied per year since 2002.

2002 - Honest Colin - Empty by end of Thurs.
2003 - Garland - Boxes still half full on Fri
2004 - Hannah and Allan - Empty by end of Weds
2005 - Alec and Stian - Empty by end of Tues.

Happy Ahmed for editor. We want more porn and sodomy and less words.

I considered it a while ago. But i'm going to be at uni too long just doing my degrees, let alone taking an extra year to drink and smoke and stress too much for fuck all money.

It's probably a job journalism majors (if that's a major, which I assume it is) would want for their CVs.

slayer for editor!!!!! I will only allowed emo and electronic music to be reviewed in the music section :P

Incidentally the music section of craccum is the only part I dont like consistently year after year.

Too much arty wank shit no one actually listen to......

At least they got the QOTSA review right.

This thread is about my column. Whores.

Who felt suitably dirty after reading my piece this week?

I liked it, that picture was nasty tho

fuck, i saw one of those clip once.... it's fucking horrible.... :(

Very....errr, not depressing, more like a cold smack over the head, but very well written. B)

And I hate the music section to, bar the interview they hadwith Strike Anywhere, would have never known about the concert otherwise, so full points there. :D

Thank you Templar :D

So who's going to chemistry this weekend?

I honestly couldnt finish it for needing to throw up.

Thats not an anit-compliment.

The imagery was that good that it put me in perspective and made me want to hurl.

PS

I like the comment about nerds downloading and jacking off over your carcass for machonistic porn, I always wondered why there were sick vidoes of people being executed. And now I know.

Ppl shouldn't be d/l that shit, thats exactly what the insurgents want!

Where the fuck has amorphous thing gone?

crab thing got the better of it.

I dont remember, I want to see a glorious comeback of amorphous thing

I guess I should write more of that shit.

mostly I am too drunk.

Yours was the only piece to make me laugh out loud at in craccum this year.

Very well done

I especially like the Honest Colin throwback, despite silently cursing you for I wanted to do that in an article later on.

I also demand you to have my babies but am too lazy to email you about it

I want a t-shirt

Yeah. I sat in my Economics lecture laughing out loud today and people gave me very odd looks.

I also laughed at the "everything that is wrong with craccum this year" article.

I also want a t-shirt.

I enjoyed your article immensly.

heheh everything that was wrong made me laugh...i laughed at the craccachute issue too though as it brought back memories...and ahmed...you have many issues...i hope they never get resolved though as your article was a crack up...

I don't actually have any issues. I'm pretty much lying the whole time. That's what makes me such an awesome writer.

Now suck my cock.

so you didn't get kicked out of the satarists club for slitting throats then fucking the wounds...you changed man...you used to be cool...

Umm, I don't want to rain on the parade of self-congratulation (yeah I do!) but writing about poos isn't going to get you kicked out of the satirist club. Johnathan Swift writes about Poos alot, and the greek playwrights are full of scatalogical references. In fact, 7th form classics is probably where most of us first hear the word scatalogical. Drawing attention to corporeality is the stock and trade of Western satire. As for slitting throats and fucking the wounds, well, Brett Easton Ellis' American Psycho is full of that sort of thing, and that's post-modern satire par excellence. In fact, it's so post-modern that it's satire that isn't even funny (the movie is funny, apparently, but I have yet to see it).

My point isn't that your columns are crap (although I thought this week's one is so close to Colin's old stuff that you might have to start paying him), but that you actually seem to be standing in a long tradition of Western satire, and not in opposition to it. But you knew that already.