I am a trademe addict. One of my most recent purchases was a game of Risk.
I have never played this before but my son and partner have.

Last night we settled down to have a " teach Saturated how to play" game

My Son starts storming across the board.. south america, africa, australia all falling to his superior randomness.

My partner is just about dead in the water and suggests to me that we need to form an alliance until my son is bough back to a manageable level. I agree, after all im trusting and assume hes right that the game will be all over for us both in a very quick time if we dont align.

Partner gets back control of Australia. I contoinue to battle with africa working as a distraction and trying to reduce his numbers. I take heavy casualties.

having focused my attentions on bringing my son back to a safe level i left one of my borders to north america under defended as made the assumption my partner would keep to his word about the aliiance.

end of my turn i strengthen my defences against the inevitable attack from africa by my son. my turn ends.

Partner turns around and says" hes weakened sufficiently now" and proceeds to set forth and attack my american borders....

I learnt a very valuable lesson... trust no bugger!!

Pray tell... who won the game?

no-one won.
I threw a huge hissy about being betrayed then we we realised it was my sons bed time so called the game off. ( call it a tactical retreat if you will)

my partner ( the sneak!) would have won based on how he had set himself up thru betraying his alliance partner

That's why you have to agree to an 'allied victory' once the common foe is taken out.

So how pray tell does one end an alliance...

And also did you help in the conquering of your sons strongholds?

well the thing that outraged me was that he waitied until after i had fortified elsewhere and he had strengthened his army at my border to declare the "pact" over.

I dont object to the end of the pact or even him attacking me. it was the way it was done.

besides when have you seen me agree with anything lately oob :P

You need a prior agreement dictating the terms of alliance termination.

You need to study more history, you would have seen this coming. You'd be surprised how much you can apply history to Risk (and many other games).

Did you alliance allow you to expand and take over continents or just to remove the continents from your sons grasp? If the latter when did you invade? S. America, Africa or Australia?

Yes seems i helped in distracting my son and splitting his forces by attacking africa so that my partner could take over australia for himself.

the polite and honourable way to end the alliance would have been to give a rounds notice.

he knew when i ended my turn i was under the assumption we were aligned so therefore i wasnt protecting from an attack by him.

Sneak attacks are pretty stupid, it wins you that one game but you lose any credibility in future.

And how exactly did he break the alliance? I presume he smashed his away across your undefended borders taking country after country? Or did he just stop you holding a continent by taking 1 or 2 countries?

youre quite right oob... he lost all credibility. i will not align with him again

Or perhaps he was trying to

So did he just show you not to trust anyone or did he give other tips and advice?

sardonic shut up :P

he attacked to stop me holding a continent so at that point he had australia my son had africa and i had nothing.

Mmm yes, painful lessons are remembered best.

and as you can see im still ranting about it some 20 hours later so it was very painful

Sheesh... its a board game...

Does your partner realise how upset you are? Is it causing matrimonial distemper?

Healthy couples know not to play board games together... except Backgammon, I've never seen anyone get angry over that.

I have Risk here and have never played a full game, ever.

I smell another goon event coming on...

hmmm you dont get the whole pain and pleasure thing from gaming do you?

Oh I do. I HATE losing at Settlers of Catan.

Bah... healthy couples can play boardgames. conflict resolution is a very important part of any good relationship. and where do you get more conflict than a boardgame.

I have a set. If I have my party (which will probably be after xmas, depends how many people can come) we can lame up the party by playing it there.

And the making up has to be fun!

I Dont know.... although healthy couples can deal with conflict resolution i didnt say i was healthy

but if i ever get over it and we do make up i will let you know if it was fun shall i :P

Oh yes please... with pictures if possible

sheesh you pervert :P
alright here ya go....

[Please link to dodgy pictures rather than posting them directly, and label appropriately. Picture is here (NSFW) - the oob]

Dodgy pictures?!??!?

Sheesh Oob!

Right... the story continues. I went to Saturated's place last night and was amused that the Risk set was still in such a prominent position (slap bang in the middle of the coffee table).

It seems that she hasnt been put of the game entirely as it wasnt very difficult to convince her to play another game. In fact it was a very good game, (Saturated seems to have picked it up very well seeing as its alledgedly only her 2nd game).

Eventually it came down to Saturated v myself.

I had defeated her son by taking Africa, acquired all his risk cards and my following turn taken out south america. Next stop was the United States (Saturateds stronghold)

Suddenly she was wanting to watch Numbers and the game was cleared up and announced as draw.

Pffft!

If in doubt, link rather than post directly. In some places this would be ok, in other places it wouldn't. I doubt anyone would get fired over it, but it may lead to an unpleasant conversation.

Hmmm... now first up I am not questioning the powers of the Ops here... but I'd love to hear what is dodgy about a black and white pencil cartoon showing a topless woman with a sword riding a man in a bad pantomime horse outfit.

Some of the avatars here are more sexually explicit (The Jessica Alba one for example)

it gave me a throb on.

To quote other Internet resources,

(b7 = b& = band = banned).

Implicit we can deal with (booty-shakin' in leather pants), but not explicit (tattooed penii).

Have you looked at the picture in question?!? They arent real nipples

I consider visible nipples to be a benchmark (and there are many benchmarks), and judge cartoon nudity pretty much the same as I would regular nudity. This isn't my prudishness, it's the prudishness of the working world.

I usually think along these lines: would it be allowed on fark? (which also has a SFW policy). In this case I doubt it would.

K fair enough. I shant argue. I shall just giggle at everyones prudishness!

*checks that this is still the Craccum Forum, find it is, wanders off giggling to himself*

(It's because oob's attracted by any sort of nipple, be it hand-drawn or photographic)

Male or female...

Sometimes I take off my shirt and stare at myself in the mirror for hours.