i) Alright, first we'll need a copy of Trillian. Go to Cerulean Studios, and download the Basic version (8.6MB)
ii) Install Trillian, making sure to install the package for IRC.
iii) When installed, open it up. Go to the Trillian Menu, then "Connections" sub-menu, "Manage my Connections..."
iv) Select the "Identities and Connections" panel. Go "Add a new Connection...", and click on IRC.
v) The first field is whatever handle you want to label this connection (craccumchat is mine)
vi) The second field must contain one of the following:

-or-

vii) The third field is your nickname/handle.
viii) I just filled in the other two fields with the same info as the handle.
ix) IMPORTANT: Now click on the "Change" button. Go to the "Perform Buffer" field, and enter the following:

x) Connect, and voila!

Comments/compliments, PM me.
Hatemail, go swab yourself for syphilis.

update 8/11/05: The Milwaukee server's fscked, so I've changed the instructions to LasVegas, which works.
update 9/11/05a: Both servers now work. Have adjusted for this.
update 9/11/05b: This thread now open for further questions.